Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
