thus making me awesome and them whores
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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