Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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