he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she looked like the before picture.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
