I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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