Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
