plz talk dirty to me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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