i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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