16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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