So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
