That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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