his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize