I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
