the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize