That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
