i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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