people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
