I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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