Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
