a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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