in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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