The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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