Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
