Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
