i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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