Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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