What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
