I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize