You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
