butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
