i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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