You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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