i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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