The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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