Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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