I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
