Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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