Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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