WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
vagina is talking i cant
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
