After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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