then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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