dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
