And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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