I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
