The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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