We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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