while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
