Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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