Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
