I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
