my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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