I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
