Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
