I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
