i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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