he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
