mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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