The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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