Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
