At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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