how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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