did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
