Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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