basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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